Sam's a potty mouth

I remembered this event today for some reason, and it hit me funny again. Thought I would write it down, even though I don't think I'll ever forget it.

This happened when we were living in Layton, so more than 3 years ago. Everyone was much smaller, well the children were much smaller. I probably was too. Suzi never changes.

So swearing is a big taboo in our house. Sam is probably the enforcer when it comes to making sure no one does it. He'll call you on it if you come even close. For instance today driving home. Oh this isn't even the story I wanted to share, but it helps set up the point I want to drive home that Sam is exactly the opposite of the title.

Anyhow back to driving home. I'll go back even father. We were all at a buddy's house. He has 4 boys, another friend was there with his family and they have four boys, and our 2 boys and 2 girls were there.

Patrick was the oldest of all children present so you can imagine the noise. Kids were running here, there, everywhere. Parents just ignoring, and talking over the jet like volume of the children, and having a good time.

Sam came up to me and said "Cameron is in his room crying on the floor". So my buddy and I go see what is up with his boy. Apparently what had happened was the boys were goofing around, Cameron shoved someone, and the another boy turned around and kicked him in the groin. (Not one of my boys for the record). Nailed him, not only did he connect, but he tore a hole in Cameron's scrotum that required two stiches to close. Ouch doesn't even seem to fit how Cameron must have felt.

That happened months ago, but left an imprint on the boys brain about the dangers of placing your foot in someone else's groin. SOOO, anyhow we are driving home from Grandma's house (Happy Mothers Day Mom), and everyone in the car is talking about all their injuries. Patrick talks about his injuries, Sam covers his, and includes the fact that he's had stiches, and Hannah lists her's for about 15 minutes and includes all the stiches that she has had. So I say well Cameron got stiches in his (I pause for affect), and Sam screams "DAD....Don't say it." I laugh knowing that one of the boys was going to stop me, the girls are still unaware of what happened to Cameron. So the point being, Sam is the enforcer of the "No Potty Talk Policy". That's a good thing when your seven. If he is this rigid when he's seventeen, I'd be surprised.

So now that you know where Sam draws the line on swearing lets go back a few years. Church has just ended, and I'm waiting for the family in the foyer.

Imagine all the families of the ward doing the same. Very busy, very crowded, and a lot of noise for being in a church. I would guess there was about 35 people or more in the room when Hannah age 4 come running into the foyer coming out of the Chapel.

No running in church is what I'm thinking, but I didn't know there was an emergency happening. An emergency in Hannah's little head.

Hannah yells "DAD!" Searching, "DAD!" again looking for me, small space lots of people. However she probably has most peoples attention, or at least noticing her making a bit of noise. She's trying to compete with the noise in the foyer.

So I say "Hannah, right here babe". She yells still a distance away and yelling over the top of the noise in the foyer and says "DAD, DAD, SAM SAID THE F WORD IN THE CHAPEL!!". I kid you not, you could have heard a pin drop on the carpet in the foyer. Everyone's eyes on me, looking for me to react. My buddy Mike Weir, who is in the Bishopric at the time, leans over and says "nice Kelly, where did your kid pick up that one".

You have to know how I would respond to a moment like that? That was a moment where some people would drop dead. Me I saw the beauty from the get go. I started laughing. I immediately saw the humor in this strange, strange situation. Me laughing got harder, and harder, I couldn't breath, I was laughing so hard I couldn't speak, I couldn't answer, I couldn't move. Soon tears, I'm wiping away tears rolling down my face because of the awkwardness of the moment. I wanted to explain to everyone that even though I had no idea what is going on here, I know Sam and Hannah well enough to know it is nothing like what it appears to be, but that thought made me laugh even harder. I was hurting from the laughing so hard I wanted to run out of the room. But I can't explain to anyone anything, I have my hands on my knees bent over crying, trying to talk to Hannah, and I want to ask her "what are you talking about?" I eventually get to that point and ask her "what are talking about, and don't run in the church?", and she being close to my ear she whispers the same phrase as if no one heard her the first time and she now doesn't want people to know "Sam said the F word in the Chapel." That got me started laughing again, and 20 seconds later, I ask "sweety, I'm sorry I don't know what the F word is, would you mind telling." She responds "No, I'm not swearing in the church." Another 20 seconds later, I say "Hannah, I don't think the swear word your thinking of is what I'm thinking of, so tell me what word are you talking about." She replies "fine, Sam said Fart, and he said it in the Chapel."

Well that set me off to tears again, and thinking back to that day, I don't think Sam ever got reprimanded for saying the F word in the Chapel.