Salad

Listen if you're going to eat a salad, if you must it eat salad, if you find nothing else seems to be attractive on the menu and you feel compelled to eat a salad, forced to eat a salad even, will you please use a salad dressing that is NOT fat free. Really, it's just as pathetic as the guy who orders 4 burritos, 2 tacos, a chimmicanga, a taco salad, and the diet soda. It really is.

If you're saying to me, "Sean I'm trying to save my calories," or "Sean I don't want to waste my calories on salad dressing", or "I'm trying count every calorie." Isn't that the reason you're eating the salad to begin with? Isn't it? You've already saved the calories by eating the rabbit food instead of the other tasty options!

Now put some salad dressing on it that doesn't taste like crap. Yes it does taste like crap. I don't want to hear "fat free dressing is an acquired taste, eat it long enough and you'll like it." Any food (or drink) that pummels your taste buds into submission before it becomes tolerant should have been spit out when first tasted. That's why you have taste buds, it's to tell you "mmm that's good eat more of that," or "not good spit it out." If you've spent enough time around babies you know I'm right.